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So you’re looking for a counsellor

Maybe you’re thinking and feeling things you don’t want to think or feel. Or maybe feeling nothing at all. Perhaps things keep going wrong; or perhaps nothing changes. It could be you feel you can’t cope. Or something has just come and hit you for six. Counselling is a safe place to explore things like that. It’s a place with the potential for personal change.

Who am I?

My name is Tony Williams, and I am a counsellor working in central and North Kingston Upon Thames.

How does counselling work?

Fortunately, we humans can change our minds. Literally. A fancy word for this is plasticity. Even more, we are designed to change in each other’s company. It’s how humans learn to fit in. So we make a new relationship, you and I. In doing that, we are already making a vehicle for change. What’s the fuel for that vehicle? Well, you bring that. It’s your experiences, your thoughts, your feelings. And as we move along together, change can start to happen.

How do we work together?

Everything we do is a collaboration. Everything we do is for your benefit. We make choices; where you want to go; how fast; how much challenge do you want? How much support? When do you feel the work is done?

What do you pay me for?

My job is to hear you; not judge you; and to try to understand your experience, perhaps in great detail; to help you to reflect; to help you shape your journey; and to be available for you, throughout, with a safe place. Especially when it is most difficult.

Why me?

I’m a fully qualified Integrative-Relational counsellor; and an accredited member of the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists (MÏã¸ÛÁùºÏ²Ê¾«×¼×ÊÁÏ (Accred)). That means I meet the right standards in competence and integrity. More than that, though, I am committed to making the extra step to meet you in the way you want to be met; where, when and recognising your individual needs.

What is Integrative-Relational Counselling?

Integrative-Relational Counselling integrates various theories and practices in counselling and psychotherapy to give an holistic approach to helping people. Principally it includes:

Psychodynamic counselling: how our early lives affect us, how we learn to be in relationship to other people and how we view the world; and how those early experiences determine our way of being in later life.

Humanistic counselling: how we all have inbuilt drives to grow and achieve our potential; and how obstructions to these drives can cause us unhappiness and distress.

It also includes an understanding of Transpersonal (spiritual) and Cognitive-Behavioural (how our behaviours shape our thinking).

These theories and practices are combined with a focus on the relationship between counsellor and client and how this can mirror the client’s experiences in the world outside the counselling room.

So an Integrative-Relational Counsellor is equipped with a full set of tools to help you, whether your issues stem from the past, frustration with the future, or are in the now.

The first session - an "introductory session" is mainly a chance for you to see what working together would be like, and to see if you want to commit to working together.

But it's also for me to to find out what you want to achieve, to make sure it can be achieved by counselling, and also to make sure that it's within my capabilities.

If we're working online, there is also a conversation about how that is different. 

So it'll feel slightly different from a regular counselling session. It starts with a bit of an explanation from me of how counselling is supposed to work, and how I work; and then over to you, to talk about what you want to achieve; and then a two way discussion about how we feel about that. At the end you can either decide to commit to some work, to think about it, or to move on. If you want to move on, I'm happy to help you think about that, including how to find the help you want, if not from me.