Grief can affect us at any time in our life, often without warning. With the festive season on the horizon, feelings of loss are often intensified as the holidays serve as a reminder of happier times. For National Grief Awareness Week (2 - 8 December 2023), our members share their best strategies for coping with grief.

鈥淟oss comes in many forms,鈥� says psychotherapist and counsellor Baljit Kamal. 鈥淧eople deal with grief over setbacks in life, such as the end of a friendship, romantic relationship, a home, employment, as well as the diagnosis of an illness. But for many of us, the most profound and intense grief we will ever experience is the death of a loved one.鈥�

Emotional roller coaster聽

Baljit also explains that the intense emotions experienced in grief can change from minute to minute.

鈥淔or many people, it can feel like an emotional roller coaster where you might find yourself laughing at a fond memory and crying the next. You may also find that you struggle with day-to-day activities or attending social events,鈥� says Baljit. 鈥淎nother important factor to take into consideration is the source of death 鈥� as this will have a huge impact on what your grief journey will look like. For instance, if it was related to a sudden or unexpected event.鈥�

Tips to cope with grief and loss

Here our members offer their top nine ways to cope with grief and loss:

1. Accept there is 鈥渘o right or wrong way鈥� to grieve

鈥淭here鈥檚 no right or wrong way to grieve a loss, every individual processes grief and loss differently,鈥� says . 鈥淪ome may feel crushed, others may feel neutral, yet others may feel a sense of relief especially if they had a difficult relationship with the deceased such as an abuser.

鈥淥ther people may feel numb for a period of time - and this is natural as it is the mind鈥檚 way of protecting us and allowing us to deal with the practicalities of organising a funeral etc. It is normal for grief work to begin months or years after a death or loss. There is no prescribed way to feel or react to a loss, everyone deals with death differently.鈥�

2. Take your time

鈥淩emember that grief is a process. Losing someone is difficult regardless of our relationship to them. How they died will affect how we feel and respond,鈥� continues Bhavna. 鈥淚t is normal to want to 鈥榙o鈥� something to take back a sense of control. But it鈥檚 important to use this time to nurture yourself. It is absolutely ok if, on some days, all you can do is get out of bed and make a cup of tea.鈥�

鈥淕rief does not always unfold in an orderly, predictable stage, nor is there any time frame,鈥� adds Baljit. 鈥淵ou cannot force a sprained hand to heal faster than it needs to, and the same applies to emotional healing. Practice self-compassion as you navigate your way through your grief journey.鈥�

3. Basic self-care

鈥淒ealing with grief can have a significant impact on your emotional and physical health,鈥� says Baljit. 鈥淏e as consistent as possible in maintaining fundamental health routines 鈥� such as eating, drinking, and resting. You may also find it helps to walk in nature, spend time with pets or animals, or explore something creative.鈥�

4. Practice mindfulness

鈥淚t helps to be mindful about how you feel,鈥� says Bhavna. 鈥淔or example, if you are feeling more frustrated, angry, tearful, lost, numb, and overwhelmed, recognise this and don鈥檛 make any major decisions 鈥� such as buying a house or getting into a new relationship. Wait for a little while until your feelings have settled down.鈥�

鈥淓very thought that you have has a physical component, and every physical signal will give you a thought,鈥� adds Baljit. 鈥淕rief feels like fear, making us anxious. It sends your system into high alert. So, anything that you can do to balance and regulate your nervous system will help you in your healing process.鈥�

5. Stay connected

鈥淚t鈥檚 imperative to stay connected when you鈥檙e coping with grief, as isolation can make the grieving process much harder to process,鈥� continues Baljit. 鈥淚t can be comforting to share stories and memories with someone you trust and who is a good support system.鈥�

鈥淪taying connected can be incredibly hard for the bereaved鈥�, adds Bhavna. 鈥淢any people find reaching out for support overwhelming because they are exhausted from the shock of grief. If you鈥檙e not ready for company just yet, try journalling about your feelings or write to the loved one you鈥檝e lost. This can be very helpful in releasing thoughts and feelings you may not be able to share with anyone else yet.鈥�

6. Acknowledge and remember

鈥淢ost cultures have ceremonies and gatherings where family and communities meet to acknowledge the loss and share memories and support each other,鈥� says Baljit. 鈥淪ome families make an altar or develop symbolic ways to acknowledge the loss. Others may keep mementos such as photographs, memory boxes, and jewellery. Whatever you decide to do, it is important that this holds relevance and meaning for you.鈥�

7. Accept change

鈥淏ereavement almost always brings lots of changes to your life,鈥� says Baljit. 鈥淥ne significant change is the shift within the family structure. Remember to be patient as you navigate through these changes and adaptations.鈥�

8. Be informed

鈥淕rief education will help you understand what to expect in your grief journey,鈥� continues Baljit. 鈥淏eing informed can help you prepare for the physical and cognitive symptoms such as poor concentration and fatigue. The more you understand the processes of grieving, the less daunting this can be.鈥�

9. Seek professional support

鈥淢any people struggle with complex emotional tasks such as talking to children about death or care-giving, while juggling endless tasks,鈥� continues Baljit. 鈥淭his can be a very dark and lonely place, so some people find that joining a local bereavement support group offers a great source of support. Others find solace in seeking the support of a professional therapist to talk through their feelings.鈥�


To find a 香港六合彩精准资料 registered grief counsellor near you or online visit our Therapists Directory.