Despite Christmas being 鈥榯he most wonderful time of year,鈥� the festive period isn鈥檛 always all sparkle and joy. One of the most hectic dates in the social calendar, we can be left feeling exhausted before the big day has even arrived. Here our members share their advice on how to spot the signs of festive burnout and how best to avoid it.

What is festive burnout?

鈥淏urnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress,鈥� says 香港六合彩精准资料 accredited psychotherapist, Billie Dunlevy. 鈥淚t occurs when we feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands.鈥�

鈥淎t this time of year, it鈥檚 often referred to as 鈥榝estive burnout鈥� as we can spend months planning for Christmas as well as holding anxiety and worry around financial, relational and family challenges we鈥檙e faced with,鈥� adds senior 香港六合彩精准资料 accredited psychotherapist Lina Mookerjee.

鈥淥ften people who are experiencing burnout have a lack of excitement for anything, increased irritability, decision paralysis, and lack of confidence. You may notice an increase in anxiety and emptiness too 鈥� and tendency to self-soothe with overeating, shopping, alcohol or sex.鈥�

Why does it happen?

Billie Dunlevy says festive burnout can happen for several reasons.

鈥淔or some, it鈥檚 considered to be a busy season with lots of extra things to do 鈥� often on top of existing workloads such as jobs, caring responsibilities, and managing our own physical and mental health,鈥� said Billie. 鈥淐hristmas is also close to the end of the year, and people may already be tired and in need of a rest. In nature, everything slows down in the winter. But as humans, we do the opposite. We often speed up and over fill our schedules.鈥�

鈥淲orking predominantly with young women with perfectionist tendencies, I see people pushing and pushing themselves so hard that when Christmas finally arrives, they often get sick and end up having to miss most of the day in bed.

Signs of festive burnout

鈥淧eople experience very little satisfaction when close to burnout and so in the aftermath of the festive period, I see a lot more depression and listlessness. Client's approaching burnout also have more accidents, prangs in cars, forget important things, have falls, and find themselves locked out of their cars and homes. Unfortunately, many people still see these things as personal failings, and not as warning signs that they are exhausted and need to slow down.鈥�

Common amongst parents and caregivers听

Festive burnout is also particularly common amongst parents and care givers, as described by Lina Mookerjee:

鈥淭hose who have caring responsibilities for others 鈥� such as children, disabled or elderly relatives - also need to be extra vigilant at Christmas as this is a time where caregiver burnout is particularly prevalent. With all the additional pressures that Christmas brings, people who are responsible for caring for others can often become overlooked and discount, minimise and forget their own physical, emotional, and mental health needs. This can severely impact the way they feel and their ability to complete their ongoing caring responsibilities.鈥�

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Here are the experts鈥� tips to avoid festive burnout:

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1. Check in with yourself regularly

鈥淣otice how and what you are feeling physically and emotionally and respect your experience, says Lina Mookerjee. 鈥淎sk yourself if you鈥檙e feeling tired, irritable, or resentful? Are you sleeping? Are you feeling like what you鈥檙e buying/giving is good enough? These are signs that you could be putting too much pressure on yourself and heading for burnout.鈥�

2. Recognise what is in your sphere of control

鈥淲e often act and think like we have more control over things than we do,鈥� says Billie. 鈥淭his adds to our mental burden as we try to manage things. The truth is we don鈥檛 have control over things like traffic or whether your husband鈥檚 sister really likes the gift you picked.

鈥淚nflating our sense of responsibility can make us miserable and feel like nothing we do is good enough. For this reason, it is so important to recognise what is not ours to control. Examples of things that are within our sphere of control include: how much we move our body, what we eat, and whether we make time to rest.鈥�

3. Slow down

鈥淩ushing is not meant to be a permanent state and yet many people don鈥檛 know how to slow down,鈥� says Billie. 鈥淪lowing down is one of the most effective ways to avoid burnout.鈥�

鈥淕ive yourself respectful space and time to establish an internal equilibrium,鈥� adds Lina. 鈥淕et plenty of exercise, fresh air, downtime, tech-free time, and ensure you make time for self-care.鈥�

4. Set boundaries

鈥淪ay no more often - especially when your values or agreements are being challenged. And know when you need to delegate responsibility,鈥� continues Lina.

鈥淚f we try and do everything, we increase the likelihood of burnout,鈥� says Billie. 鈥淪ome people like to prove to themselves just how much they can squeeze in! This isn鈥檛 sustainable, and will lead to falling down at some point.鈥�

5. Drop comparison and your compulsion to prove

鈥淐omparison is rife at Christmas time, particularly as social media forms such a big part of our lives,鈥� says Billie. 鈥淐omparing to others can increase the idea that we need to work harder, do more. The compulsion to prove is sited as a key stage in burnout. When we become obsessed with this, we dismiss problems and the need to rest and prioritise.鈥�
鈥淭ry agreeing a gift budget for gifts and stick to it,鈥� says Lina. 鈥淲atch if you鈥檙e being compared to or bullied to have to spend more. Stand your ground and say no. Be the role model for your friends and family by valuing the simple and more important things in life.鈥�

6. Ask yourself how you want to feel not what needs to be done

鈥淭his can be a really helpful reframe when making plans,鈥� says Billie. 鈥淎 key aspect in burnout is neglecting needs, for this reason it helps to check in with our needs more often. Asking how you want to feel can help flag situations that could potentially mean we are cutting off from our needs to please others. This is fine sometimes, but if it is a default, it is a recipe for burnout and resentment. Prioritising how you would like to feel can help you make more informed decisions.鈥�

Lina adds: 鈥淩emember you always have a choice and there are options - to do something differently so you and others can realistically manage expectations.鈥�


7. Make space and time to grieve

鈥淐hristmas is such a tender time of year when it comes to grief,鈥� says Billie. 鈥淭here are so few people who aren鈥檛 experiencing in some way the pain of grief and yet we don鈥檛 make time for it. We often tell ourselves we are too busy or that it鈥檚 not productive to dwell.

鈥淪upressed emotions manifest in the body and increase our stress. Acknowledging who and what we may be missing is a way to offer ourselves compassion when we need it most. And remember, if you are struggling at Christmas time there are experienced counsellors and psychotherapists who can help with any feelings of grief, overwhelm, and burnout (visit our therapists directory).鈥�