When Demi went to see a counsellor for the second time, she felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she knew that counselling was going to be a good thing.

For the 18-year-old it had been a difficult journey to get to this point.

She鈥檇 been to therapy before aged 14 鈥� and decided to see a counsellor again four years later.

鈥淚 decided to face up to my previous fears and go back to counselling. It took a bit of guts to do that,鈥� she said.

鈥淏efore the counselling assessment I felt nervous about what I was going to be asked. But all my anxieties were soon settled after receiving such a warming response from the assessor.

鈥淚 knew that I was now ready to talk about some of the things I had avoided speaking about for a long time.

Weight lifted

鈥淎fter my first session of properly talking about things, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

鈥淚 knew then that this time counselling was going to be a good thing for me.鈥�

Throughout her early teens, Demi had struggled with several different mental health conditions and tried many different medications and therapies.

She was referred to Dialetical Behaviour Therapy 鈥� a mix of mindfulness and cognitive behavioural therapy delivered by NHS mental health services 聽鈥� but she says, 鈥淚 knew I wasn鈥檛 ready.鈥�

Felt under pressure

聽鈥淚 felt under pressure by the people around me to meet the expectation that I needed to be the one to try and fix my problems right away.

鈥淗owever, being put into group therapy with individuals who were four or five years older than me, and at completely different stages of their lives to me, made me realise that I wasn鈥檛 ready this at this time.

鈥淚 was too young to even comprehend it all, and I began to resent the idea of talking about my problems.鈥�

Jo Holmes, our Children, Young People and Families lead, said: 鈥淒emi鈥檚 experience is not an isolated one. Many young people feel pressured to have counselling when they鈥檙e really not ready.

鈥淭he greatest change can come about through counselling, but it has to be at the right time.

鈥淭he decision has to come from you, rather than a parent, friend or teacher.聽 That鈥檚 when it has the greatest impact.

Life-changing experience

鈥淒emi talks about the pressure to feel that she had to fix herself; this is often explored in counselling. There can be so much pressure to 鈥榞et better鈥� from other people, it鈥檚 important to have that space to explore the underlying emotions that link to the more visible challenges the young person is facing.

鈥淲hen you鈥檙e at the point where you are ready to open up, counselling can be a life-changing experience.

鈥淚t doesn鈥檛 have to be a one-off, you can return to counselling again in the future if and when you need it.鈥�

To find a counsellor or psychotherapist who can help visit our Therapist Directory.