The shocking figures of how many people have died from coronavirus are in the news every day, but we know they don鈥檛 tell the full story about the thousands of families who are grieving lost loved ones.

Children, parents, brothers, sisters, and other relatives and friends are facing this bereavement in the most unprecedented circumstances 鈥� and often while isolated in their own homes due to the coronavirus lockdown restrictions.

鈥淕rief is difficult at any time, but the restrictions imposed due to Coronavirus (Covid -19) have brought additional challenges which may impact on the process of mourning,鈥� said our member Susan Carr.

鈥淚t鈥檚 important to remember that with bereavement there can be all sorts of emotions 鈥� shock, anger, sadness, guilt, confusion and it may feel as though your whole life has been turned upside down.聽

鈥淭hese feelings may be difficult to control and there can be a fear that you are somehow 鈥檊oing mad鈥�.

Different for everyone

鈥淗owever, these are all natural reactions to a bereavement and form part of the grieving process, which is different for everyone,鈥� she added.

This is still the same for people during coronavirus as it was before we鈥檇 even heard of it. But now there are added difficulties.

Lockdown and self-isolation may mean people are unable to say farewell to their loved ones before they pass away.

Susan 聽said: 鈥淭his was recognised by Health Secretary Matt Hancock, when announcing new procedures to give families the opportunity to say goodbye wherever possible.鈥�

Mr Hancock said: 鈥淲anting to be with someone you love at the end of their life is one of the deepest human instincts and it鈥檚 a moment that will be with you forever. Done right it can help those left behind to cope and it brings comfort to those who are dying.鈥�

Funerals can be an important part of the grieving process, added Susan.

But in today鈥檚 circumstances they鈥檙e held in very different conditions. Attendance is limited, mourners must stay two metres apart and people who are self-isolating cannot attend.

Saying goodbye

鈥淎n important part of saying goodbye can be the ritual of a funeral as this can help with accepting the reality of the loss and gives an opportunity to share thoughts and feelings with others,鈥� Susan said.

鈥淗owever, funerals have also been affected by the rules around social distancing as they can only take place at a crematorium or graveside which in itself may cause distress if it had been planned that there would be a service at a place of worship.鈥�

Susan, who runs in Hyde, Greater Manchester, added: 鈥淪ome crematoriums have the capability to live stream the funeral so that mourners can attend virtually.聽

鈥淎nother option can be for friends and family to send messages which can be read out as part of the service, which could then be made into a book of remembrance. Lighting a candle at home or playing the deceased鈥檚 favourite song at the time of the funeral could be a way for people to feel that they are part of the service.鈥�

She added:聽 鈥淕iven that it may not be the funeral that was anticipated, another option is to plan for some sort of memorial or celebration of your loved one鈥檚 life at which everyone can come together once the restrictions have been lifted.鈥�

Source of comfort

For many people, family and friends would provide a source of comfort if they were grieving. But that鈥檚 difficult during lockdown.

Susan said it鈥檚 important to keep in contact by telephone, email or online chats during these difficult times.

And she also explained how people often need to spend time grieving for their loss, but alternate this with also getting on with their life.

This can be hard under the current restrictions, if the bereaved person can鈥檛 carry on with the normal activities that may help them cope.

She said: 鈥淭ry to establish a routine, but not necessarily a strict schedule and plan some ideas of how you can fill your time e.g. reading, gardening, learning a new skill.聽

鈥淚f you are confident with technology there are lots of activities and groups that are now being held virtually so check out what is available.鈥�

To find a bereavement counsellor who is working online or offering telephone counselling visit our Therapist Directory.