Counselling provided Jake* with a 鈥渓ightbulb moment鈥� at a time when he knew he was crumbling under the stress of a variety of complicated issues in his life.

He describes how he was going through a personality crisis 鈥� using excessive confidence to hide his insecurities. It was affecting his friendships.

A friend was depressed. Jake says he wanted to help but felt under-pressure.

Then his parents went through a messy divorce. His grandpa was terminally ill.

听鈥淚t was awful. I had to do my exams through it. I was at my wit鈥檚 end,鈥� he says.

鈥淚 had to go to school and put on a smile.

鈥淏ut I just ended up crumbling. I thought I need to do something about this. I can鈥檛 go on like this forever.

听

鈥淥ne day I was so stressed out I had three nosebleeds. I thought, that鈥檚 not normal. I鈥檝e got to do something about this.鈥�

Jake sought help from a school counsellor and began to attend weekly sessions.

Relationship of trust

鈥淪he let me voice how I was feeling. It helped me see it all in a different light.

鈥淚 built a relationship of trust with her. That was reassuring.鈥�

鈥淵es, you can talk to your friends, but they aren鈥檛 under an oath to stay shtum. I didn鈥檛 have to worry about this with my counsellor. I could say what I wanted and knew it was not going anywhere.

鈥淭here were some big issues in my life that I didn鈥檛 want to talk about at first. I spent a long time coming to see the counsellor, before it rose to the point where I felt able to say something.鈥�

Talking to a counsellor helped Jake explore and understand how he was feeling 鈥� and what could be done about it.

Lightbulb moment

鈥淐ounselling allows you to reach that lightbulb moment. It helps you discover the things that need to change.

鈥淭he best thing it does is give you a window into what can change. No one can change you 鈥� you need to change yourself,鈥� he says.

鈥淚t helped me with new ideas about how to look after myself. It helped me build up my levels of 鈥榖ouncing back鈥�.

鈥淚 got to the point where I was ready to take on these new ideas. I realised I didn鈥檛 always have to please everyone else.

鈥淐ounselling made it much easier than if I was going at it on my own.鈥�

Jake praises his school for having a counsellor.

Flexibility

鈥淲ith a counsellor at the school, there was the flexibility to get the help when I needed it. I didn鈥檛 have to wait on a four-month waiting list, my family didn鈥檛 have to pay.

鈥淚t meant I could get sorted earlier. I think having access to a counsellor through school means you can get sorted out sooner 鈥� before things become bigger problems.

He adds: 鈥淚鈥檓 a veteran. In year 11 I was probably seeing her once every week, or every two weeks. In year 10 it was probably the same. It just became part of my routine.

鈥淗opefully I won鈥檛 need to go back to counselling, but I definitely wouldn鈥檛 worry about sending that email to start it up again if necessary.

鈥淚 tell my friends. If you have an issue just go and see the counsellor.

Happy and content

鈥淚t doesn鈥檛 matter how small you perceive your problem to be, it鈥檚 still a problem to you. That small problem can just get bigger and bigger.鈥�

It鈥檚 all looking good for Jake as he continues with his studies in the sixth form.

鈥淭his is the first time in a while when everything鈥檚 become clear. It鈥檚 plain sailing now.

鈥淚 feel the best I鈥檝e felt since I was about nine.

鈥淣ow I鈥檝e got the resilience. I鈥檓 very happy and content, ticking along with my A levels.鈥�

听

*Not his real name.

Thanks to the staff and students of Bristol Grammar School for their help with our school counselling case studies.

Illustrations and graphics by Emily Catherine Illustration. www.emilycatherineillustration.com.