For many couples, several months of lockdown presented them with challenges they鈥檇 not faced in their relationships before.

But now many aspects of lockdown have eased.

Adjusting to the new normal and the end of many restrictions may impact on our relationships, just like adjusting to lockdown in the first place had an effect, says our member Mary Aaron.

鈥淚t鈥檚 more complicated now,鈥� says Mary, a relationship counsellor.

鈥淔or some couples lockdown was catastrophic. They had nowhere to go to or to escape to.

鈥淏ut for many couples lockdown was just about working fine. It was a safe space. They were both at home. Yes, there was a lot of balancing to be done between work and home. There may have been a rota to look after the kids. But people adjusted.

鈥淣ow things have changed again. The balance has shifted again. One or both partners may be back out at work. Couples have had to adjust to changes all over again.

鈥淚t鈥檚 become a different type of balancing act,鈥� she added.

She says couples are having to work out how to balance their lives, work, family and children all over again.

鈥淭he end of lockdown has thrown up all the old problems again 鈥� and now there are new ones too. For couples who were having difficulties before, things may have gone quickly back to how they were before lockdown. But often they just don鈥檛 talk to each other about it or listen to what their partner鈥檚 feeling. It can build up into more of a problem.鈥�

Mary鈥檚 shared her thoughts and what can help with relationship problems, if things are becoming difficult since lockdown restrictions eased.

Find time to be together 鈥� and to talk

Mary says it鈥檚 crucial to try to structure some time together.

That doesn鈥檛 have to be the traditional date night, with a trip out for a meal or to the pub, if you鈥檙e not comfortable or not able to leave your home and take advantage of venues reopening.

Sitting on the sofa and having a good chat is important.

鈥淧inch an hour. Talk through your difficulties,鈥� she says.

鈥淥ne night a week of quality time together can be really sustaining for a relationship.

鈥淭alking to each other is so important as a couple. Keep that communication going. Ask each other 鈥榟ow is it for you?鈥�, 鈥榳hat can I do?鈥� adds Mary.

Hear the experiences of the other person

As well as talking and asking questions of each other, it鈥檚 important that you listen to your partner鈥檚 answers and experiences.

Mary adds: 鈥淢ake sure you hear the experiences of the other person. Listen to them say how they feel. If you鈥檝e had a fight, make sure you talk about how you feel about it afterwards.鈥�

Break things down into bitesize chunks

Mary recommends trying not to think or plan too far ahead at the moment. She suggests just thinking on a week by week basis.

She adds: 鈥淭he world is still changing day by day. If you try to think too far ahead or think about everything that鈥檚 going on at once it can be really overwhelming and difficult.

鈥淏reak things down into bitesize chunks and look at one bit of your problem or situation at a time.鈥�

Seek professional support if you need it

A relationship counsellor can give you a professional, non-judgmental and supportive space to help you identify issues in your relationship and help you navigate your way through those difficulties together.

Couples counselling can be delivered in person 鈥� but also online, by telephone or via email.

To find a relationship counsellor who can help you visit our Therapist Directory.