A mum of nine-month-old twins has told how speaking to a counsellor online has helped her cope with postnatal depression and the difficulties of life in lockdown.

Kat* said without the online sessions with her therapist she didn鈥檛 think she鈥檇 have been able to cope with being stuck at home without being able to see family and friends for support.

She says being able to talk to a professional counsellor, who doesn鈥檛 judge her, helps her explore her feelings and discuss practical steps she can take when she鈥檚 struggling, has been crucial during these difficult and uncertain times.

鈥淏efore counselling, lockdown would have been my worst nightmare,鈥� said Kat.

Stressed and angry

鈥淚 couldn鈥檛 imagine being stuck at home with the kids all day and not have family and friends round and all that extra help. I鈥檇 have been worried about what would have happened and that I鈥檇 have been stressed and angry all the time.

鈥淏ut talking to a counsellor, and being able to continue these sessions online, has definitely helped.鈥�

听

听After Kat鈥檚 twin boys were born last year she struggled to cope. She was diagnosed with postnatal depression and took medication for a while.

鈥淚 really struggled from day one of having the twins. I was crying a lot. I wasn鈥檛 coping at all,鈥� she said.

鈥淚 was getting angry and frustrated every time they cried.

鈥淢y doctor initially suggested therapy. But at that time I couldn鈥檛 even picture getting out of the house or doing anything like that.鈥�

After a while, Kat went to a group session for women with postnatal depression. There, she was given the details of counsellor and 香港六合彩精准资料 member Natasha Page, at This Is Me Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Counselling

鈥淏y that point, I鈥檇 just started thinking that this was something I needed to get a hold of. I thought I鈥檇 give counselling a try.鈥�

Earlier this year, Kat started seeing the counsellor regularly.

鈥淚t鈥檚 been really useful.

鈥淚鈥檝e found it good to talk about how I feel and not be judged. The biggest thing that had been weighing on my mind since having the boys had been those feelings of 鈥榶ou鈥檙e not meant to be feeling like this, 鈥榶ou should be dealing with it鈥�, 鈥榶ou can鈥檛 be getting angry at babies鈥�. To be able to have that non-judgmental chat about it all really helped.鈥�

Non-judgmental

Kat added: 鈥淚t鈥檚 definitely different talking to a counsellor, rather than a family member or friend. My family has just been so happy with the babies arriving.听 They鈥檝e just wanted me to be happy and they don鈥檛 really understand why I鈥檓 not.

鈥淪ome friends, I know they鈥檝e struggled and I know they get how I鈥檝e felt. But some mums just give you a look when you say how you feel and I think 鈥榦oh I better not say any more鈥�.鈥�

Kat said: 鈥淭he practical help has been really useful too.

鈥淲e went through some different CBT techniques.

鈥淚鈥檝e been keeping a mood diary to see what really set me off. It triggered some interesting discussions. Things that I didn鈥檛 think about such as how I interact with my parents or my partner. I hadn鈥檛 thought about how to make just little changes in what I was doing and how it might help.鈥�

Counselling online

When the lockdown restrictions came into force because of coronavirus, Kat鈥檚 sessions continued online, rather than face to face.

鈥淲e still see each other鈥檚 faces,鈥� she said. 鈥淚 dial in from home and am looking at her on my computer screen. I still see her well enough on there. We can still have a proper conversation. It still feels like we鈥檙e making eye contact.

鈥淢y partner鈥檚 in another room, looking after the kids, so he can鈥檛 hear.鈥�

At her first online session, Kat鈥檚 counsellor explained how the sessions would work and about the web platform they were using.

鈥淚 felt really secure as she explained the set up and said that no one could overhear us,鈥� said Kat.

Works really well

鈥淚t works really well as an approach.鈥�

She added she鈥檚 found online counselling more convenient in terms of family life as well.

鈥淚t was handy to be able to meet face to face at the start and get to know her. But it did also make it a bit more difficult as it was time out of the house and I had to leave my partner with the kids.

鈥淣ow I鈥檓 at home. I鈥檓 not far away from the kids. It鈥檚 easier.

鈥淟ike all appointments you just go for face to face. I just assumed that was the way I鈥檇 do it. Having done it online I wish I鈥檇 done that from the start.鈥�

Kat has also found that the time spent at home with just her partner and the babies has helped her focus on what she鈥檚 found out and learnt during counselling.

听鈥淚 think I鈥檝e been lucky,鈥� she said. 鈥淟ockdown has given me a bit of time to work on the things that we鈥檝e discussed.

Using techniques I've learnt

鈥淚鈥檓 really managing to get hold of my anger and recognise that they are babies. They don鈥檛 mean to annoy me.

听鈥淚鈥檓 using the techniques I鈥檝e learnt from my counsellor to reason my way out of some of the feelings I鈥檝e had, and to avoid getting into the place I was in before.鈥�

听

To find a counsellor or psychotherapist who works online visit our .

听

*Not her real name.

Illustrations and graphics by Emily Catherine Illustration. www.emilycatherineillustration.com