Amber* knew she was having trouble with her relationship with food and she wanted to do something about it.

But the idea of talking openly about it with someone was too much for her. So she left her school counsellor a note to say how she was feeling.

鈥淚 was constantly preoccupied with food or with going for a run or to the gym. It was exhausting and starting to get me down,鈥� says Amber.

鈥淚 thought I can鈥檛 do this anymore. I wanted to do something about it.

鈥淚t seemed like a good idea to come to the counsellor.

鈥淚 didn鈥檛 really want to talk face to face at first. There鈥檚 a little box outside her office and you can write a little note. I thought that鈥檚 cool. I didn鈥檛 actually have to say anything, as that would have been harder.鈥�

The response from the school counsellor to the note, persuaded her to attend her first face-to-face counselling session.

鈥淚t was quite scary to be honest when I started. I鈥檓 not very good at talking openly about my personal problems. But I soon got used to it. We got to know each other.

鈥淚t took two or three weeks to build up that trust.

鈥淚 began to realise that why would someone who鈥檚 trying to help you make you feel worried.

Amber鈥檚 counsellor helped her in several different ways.

鈥淚 began to learn how to change my life.

鈥淚 think I understand myself in a different way now. I got better at understanding why I was preoccupied by different things. I came to realise that it was about relationships with other people that was making me feel like that.

鈥淢y counsellor gave me lots of suggestions of practical things to help that I would never have thought of myself 鈥� such as turning the mirror around.

鈥淔riends are great. But they don鈥檛 have training. They鈥檙e very good at 鈥榦h it鈥檚 ok鈥� but in terms of helping you to solve your problems, they鈥檙e not so good.鈥�

Amber adds: 鈥淭hings started bothering me less and less. I realised that normally what was bothering me wasn鈥檛 how I looked, but something else.鈥�

鈥淣ow I often still think 鈥榳hat would my counsellor鈥� say.鈥�

After her initial fears about seeing a counsellor, Amber realised that she was in control of her sessions 鈥� and she was under no pressure to go if she didn鈥檛 feel like it.

鈥淪chool counselling is just there. You don鈥檛 have to go out of your way. I felt in control, because I didn鈥檛 have to go if I didn鈥檛 want to.鈥�

She adds: 鈥淚t was hard to admit to myself there was a problem. But now, thanks to counselling, I don鈥檛 think there is a problem.

鈥淚t becomes less of a massive thing in your head when you know how to deal with it and why you鈥檙e feeling like that.鈥�

听

*Not her real name.

Thanks to the staff and students of Bristol Grammar School for their help with our school counselling case studies.

Illustrations and graphics by Emily Catherine Illustration. www.emilycatherineillustration.com.