Learning how to say no and being mindful of your own limits are key to avoiding social burnout during the festive party season, our member Louise Tyler told listeners to BBC Radio 4鈥檚 Woman鈥檚 Hour.

She joined the live radio discussion hosted by Jenni Murray and which also featured Olivia Petter, a journalist at the Independent who described her own experience of social burnout.

Louise, a Cheshire-based counsellor, spoke about what social burnout is, tactics to avoid it and how she helps her clients who are struggling with it.

We're not good at downtime

She told Woman鈥檚 Hour: 鈥淏urnout鈥檚 the emotional, physical and mental exhaustion caused by too much of anything. Round this holiday period, women - and men as well 鈥� are operating at 100% trying to fit everything in; juggle work-life balance. This added party season can tip them over the edge.鈥�

Louise added: 鈥淚 think we live in a time where there鈥檚 an expectation for us to be seen to be busy and productive at all times. We鈥檙e not good at doing downtime.

鈥淚 think people can also have poor boundaries. People aren鈥檛 able to say no. Reasons such as needing to be liked, lack of assertiveness, putting others first, a tendency to feel guilty for not being able to do it all.鈥�

How to say 'no'

She explained how she helps her clients to say no by practising assertiveness and using a 鈥榥egative sandwich鈥�.

This could be saying something along the lines of 鈥榯hat drinks party sounds really great fun, however, I have to pass this year, because quite frankly I鈥檓 feeling rather overwhelmed. But let鈥檚 speak again in the new year and sort something out for the spring when things have calmed down a bit.鈥�

Louise said: 鈥淭here鈥檚 a way of saying 鈥榥o鈥� that feels easier than just letting people down. Say that you鈥檙e really pleased to be asked and do want to do something another time, but quite frankly just can鈥檛 fit it in.

Be honest

鈥淧eople come up with elaborate excuses, when it can be best just be honest and say it鈥檚 just too much for me right now.鈥�

She added: 鈥淧eople are generally on the edge of burnout a lot of time. There鈥檚 very little wriggle room for something like the festive party season.鈥�

鈥淚 think people need to identify their physical, emotional and mental limits in general. Use this time to reflect whether there鈥檚 a more general imbalance in your life. Do you generally feel exhausted with no time for downtime, what changes can you make?鈥�

鈥淏e mindful of yourself and your limits 鈥� I think that鈥檚 very key,鈥� she said.

She also recommended delegating a bit more and trying to avoid perfectionism.

Joy of missing out

Louise told Jenni Murray that FOMO 鈥� the fear of missing out 鈥� is real, but that she tries to speak to her client about what she likes to call JOMO 鈥� the joy of missing out.

鈥淩ather than having it all, think about what bits can I get rid of, what bits can I lose.

鈥淎s I often say to my clients you do not have to do everything tonight, there鈥檚 nothing wrong with sitting at home.鈥�

Listen to the full discussion on .

To find a local counsellor or psychotherapist who can help you, visit our Therapist directory.