After Oliver鈥檚 closest friend killed himself, he found it incredibly hard to cope.
He struggled through the summer holidays, just trying to get through each day.
Back at university, he found himself increasingly isolated and unable to focus on his course, friendships, or student life.
Six weeks into the new term, he realised something had to change.
That鈥檚 when he contacted a university counsellor.
鈥淚 had a lot of emotional baggage that was crushing me,鈥� said Oliver who is in his second year of a civil engineering degree at the University of Sheffield.
鈥淚t鈥檚 been really beneficial to have someone who I can be completely honest with. Who I can talk to about how I鈥檓 feeling and how I鈥檓 doing.
鈥淚鈥檝e always felt a burden. I don鈥檛 want to put stuff on other people鈥檚 plates 鈥� but I don鈥檛 feel like that when I鈥檓 talking to my counsellor.
I'm being understood
鈥淚 know I鈥檓 not completely alone 鈥� and that I鈥檓 being understood. I know that what I鈥檓 feeling isn鈥檛 wrong.鈥�
Oliver has struggled with his mental health during the past five years. He has been depressed, has self-harmed and been on medication.
But the sudden death of one of his longest friends last summer had a huge impact on him.
鈥淭hings had been going better with my mental health, but Peter鈥檚 death really derailed me.
聽鈥淚 don鈥檛 think I really thought or took stock of the loss. I didn鈥檛 cry until after the funeral.
鈥淚t was very hard to be around people. I couldn鈥檛 really talk about it.
鈥淚 was just trying to get through the summer. I had resits which didn鈥檛 help.鈥�
鈥淚t鈥檚 been really beneficial to have someone who I can be completely honest with. Who I can talk to about how I鈥檓 feeling and how I鈥檓 doing," said Oliver.
Oliver continued to struggle when he returned to Sheffield for the new university term.
鈥淚 was keeping everything close to me. I wasn鈥檛 really socialising. Every day I was just going home to my flat and crying. I could not stop thinking about him.
鈥淚t was really hard being an active member of society.聽 I could not sleep.
鈥淏ut life was going on still. I still had to do my degree.鈥�
Six weeks into the university term he knew he couldn鈥檛 carry on like that.
Needed to keep going
鈥淚 realised that that wasn鈥檛 sustainable and that it wasn鈥檛 what Peter would have wanted. I needed to keep going for him.鈥�
Oliver spoke to staff in the engineering department who recommended he visited the university counselling service.
鈥淚 knew I needed to speak to someone with experience of these issues. I wanted to be able to talk honestly and just get someone鈥檚 objective thoughts on what I was going through. Someone who wouldn鈥檛 judge me.鈥�
Oliver said his counselling sessions have helped him understand that how he is feeling isn鈥檛 wrong and help him view his emotions in a different way.
And it鈥檚 helped him get through the grief of losing such a close friend.
鈥淚 was quite angry at myself and a lot of people about everything. I felt guilty.
鈥淚 look back on a lot of things growing up with a skewed lens. There was a lot of self-hatred.
Look at underlying issues
鈥淏ut through counselling I have been able to unpick that and look at the more underlying issues. It鈥檚 helped me to get through that distortion that I see. It鈥檚 helped me get through the grief of losing a friend.
鈥淚鈥檓 getting out there and experiencing university life now. I鈥檓 starting to see glimpses of the person who I am deep down.鈥�
Oliver has found the confidence to become more involved in extracurricular university activities.
He鈥檚 organising a large science fair that will be attended by up to 2,000 children.
As part of this project, he鈥檚 been managing people and leading two-hour meetings.
It was a big jump for him to agree to get involved.
鈥淚 wouldn鈥檛 have put myself forward for this or made this jump if I hadn鈥檛 been able to talk through those feelings around Peter. I wouldn鈥檛 have the confidence to have made that jump.鈥�
His sessions with the university counsellor will continue.
鈥淚t鈥檚 allowed me to get something more from university life.
First steps
鈥淚 know this is the first steps. I鈥檓 not all the way there yet.
鈥淏ut it鈥檚 definitely helping,鈥� he added.
鈥淭he main thing about the university counselling service is they genuinely care.
鈥淲hen I was in my darkest place. I knew I had a person to go to who listened, that I mattered to and who genuinely wanted to help me in whatever way they could. I鈥檓 really grateful for that.鈥�
To find a 香港六合彩精准资料 counsellor or psychotherapist visit our Therapist directory.