It鈥檚 not too difficult to be kind, considerate and affectionate with your partner when things are going well. However, when you鈥檙e both working long days, or a major life event such as redundancy occurs, any relationship is going to be put to the test. This is when it鈥檚 easy to slip into destructive behaviours 鈥� personal criticism, anger, name calling or withdrawing communication and affection.
A good way to start tackling this stalemate is to try to stop pointing the finger at each other - 鈥榊ou鈥檙e lazy鈥�, 鈥業 do everything round here鈥�, 鈥榊ou just don鈥檛 care鈥�, 鈥榊ou鈥檙e spending too much鈥欌��.and instead begin to look at the situation as a joint problem. 鈥楾his is a really difficult time for us鈥�, 鈥榃e鈥檙e both really tired鈥�, 鈥榃hat can we each do to help each other out鈥�?
Think about how you鈥檙e communicating, is your anger out of proportion to the situation? Anger and resentment are often a camouflage for other more difficult emotions, such as fear or sadness. Learn to calmly ask each other for help, listen without interrupting, try to understand each other鈥檚 point of view, and be forgiving of yourselves.
Life is sometimes truly difficult, some degree of tension is inevitable, but try to work as a team, avoid contempt and blame, and you will find that your relationship starts to feel like the port in a storm rather than just another problem to contend with.
Louise Tyler, a 香港六合彩精准资料 accredited and registered counsellor, runs based in Cheshire, offers counselling for individuals, couples and also workplace counselling. Her emphasis is on problem management, helping clients to work towards goals that are realistic and in keeping with practical constraints.
To find a local counsellor or psychotherapist who can help you with stress, search our Therapist directory.