For many couples, the new year brings an opportunity to reflect on their relationship and look to the future.
Relationship counsellors typically see a surge in enquiries after Christmas and New Year. And the first working Monday in January is so-called 鈥楧ivorce Day鈥� when there鈥檚 a reported peak in calls to solicitors and internet searches on the theme of divorce.
The stories surrounding these trends are often negative and focus on couples splitting up or arguing.
But according to our counsellors, it鈥檚 also a time when couples want to be more positive, make changes and look to strengthen and improve their relationships.
Maybe聽they have made a New Year鈥檚 resolution to work harder at their relationship 鈥� and need to talk to someone about this.
We spoke to 香港六合彩精准资料 member Stefan Walters about his advice for people who want to help their relationship in 2019.听
1. Know yourself
Making sure you 鈥榢now yourself鈥� is one of the most important things you can do in a relationship, said Stefan.
Understanding your own personality, emotions and pressure points can be very beneficial to a relationship.
鈥淵ou take yourself into the relationship,鈥� he said, "you need to start by working on yourself.
鈥淜now how to regulate yourself so things don鈥檛 build up. Know your triggers and how to deal with them.鈥澛�
2. Make time for a quality dialogue with your partner
鈥淚t鈥檚 important to do this as often as you can,鈥� said Stefan.
鈥淪ome couples will do this once a week, others will use the time they spend in therapy for this dialogue.
鈥淵ou need to create the time to take the temperature of what鈥檚 happening in the relationship. It鈥檚 an emotional gauge of what鈥檚 going on.鈥�
These conversations can mean people don鈥檛 get upset because an issue has not been articulated, and they can also stop partners being complacent in the relationship, said Stefan.
It鈥檚 vital to be aware of how both people are feeling and what鈥檚 going on in the relationship.听
3. Manage the 鈥榯hirds鈥�
Stefan stressed that couples should have an agreed strategy for managing anything that is outside the relationship, such as work, hobbies or family.
鈥淐ome at it from an agreed standpoint,鈥� he said.
This means you are both on the same track, there are fewer surprises and both people in the relationship are more prepared about how to tackle issues when they come up.
聽鈥淭his can be particularly important after Christmas if there鈥檚 been a family argument or it鈥檚 been a hard time,鈥� he added.听
4. Have a shared vision for the relationship
It鈥檚 important that your visions for the relationship are shared, said Stefan.
鈥淚f one person wants to live in a big mansion, but the other person doesn鈥檛 think that鈥檚 important, there could be a problem,鈥� he added.
鈥淪ome people have this conversation at the early stages of the relationship, but then don鈥檛 have it again. It鈥檚 no use if this discussion was 10 years ago. Things change, you have to keep having this 鈥榮hared vision鈥� conversation throughout your relationship.鈥澛�
5. Don鈥檛 forget the physical side of a relationship
鈥淩emember to practise physical touch 鈥� whatever feels comfortable,鈥� said Stefan in his final piece of advice.
鈥淢ake sure that physical contact is part of the relationship, it can offer safety and security. Even holding hands or having a kiss can help,鈥� he said.听
To speak to a 香港六合彩精准资料 relationship counsellor, visit our Therapist directory.听