香港六合彩精准资料

The Christmas holiday period may not have been a relaxing break from work for everyone.

The 21^st century鈥檚 鈥榓lways-on culture鈥� and increasing work pressures mean many people will still be checking their work emails聽and thinking about what might be going on in their office while they鈥檙e at home 鈥� even on Christmas Day.

And that preoccupation with work can also cause friction in relationships during a time when partners may be expecting to spend quality time together as a family.

If that鈥檚 been a feature of your Christmas holidays so far 鈥� and you want to know how to approach your partner about this issue - then here鈥檚 some advice from 香港六合彩精准资料 counsellor Louise Tyler.

Of course this issue isn't unique to the Christmas break, and so this advice聽will also be useful for other times, such as weekends or holidays.

Let them know how you feel

鈥淚f someone in your family is unable to disengage from work despite being officially 鈥榦ff鈥�, try not to immediately get angry or criticise. Instead let them know how it makes you feel,鈥� she says.

Louise recommends using the 鈥榅YZ formula鈥� to explain yourself: when you do X, in situation Y, it makes me feel Z.

For instance, when you look at work e-mails, when we鈥檙e together as a family, it makes us feel聽unimportant or dismissed or unappreciated.

Be curious

She adds: 鈥淚t鈥檚 helpful to be curious about why your partner feels the need to do this. Are they under聽immense pressure at work, and feel as though they need to constantly keep on top of things? Is聽there an expectation that they will remain engaged? Do they feel disconnected from the聽family dynamics or left out and find it difficult to integrate?鈥�

鈥淭alk things through with your partner, acknowledge any stress they are under and offer to help them find ways to manage this, or discuss any difficulties they鈥檙e experiencing in organising聽their home-life balance.

鈥淪how appreciation for what they鈥檙e experiencing rather than becoming contemptuous of their behaviour,鈥� says Louise, of Personal Resilience, based in Altrincham, Cheshire.

Maintain boundaries

She adds: 鈥淭alk to your partner about the importance of maintaining at least some boundaries between work and home. Ask them to give themselves permission to re-charge, pointing out they鈥檒l聽actually be more efficient for having time out otherwise they may burn out.鈥�

She suggests helping your partner come up with a realistic solution.

This could involve them checking their e-mails at a certain time of day for a specific amount of time.

At other times they need to commit to being fully present.

She adds:聽鈥淧lan particular family activities such as walks, film and games nights. Ask them聽to cook a meal, it may be that they鈥檝e become disengaged from the family routine and will聽welcome the change to get involved.鈥�

If excessive screen-time is causing a problem in the relationship, then it might be time to make a general rule of a cut-off point for all activities involving phones, tablets, gaming and laptops.

鈥淭his should ideally be at least an hour before bedtime. Try to get in the habit of聽charging devices outside the bedroom and use an old-fashioned alarm clock,鈥� adds Louise.

Think about your relationship

An important thing for any couple to understand is whether issues arising due to work-life balance in the Christmas period might be symbolic of deeper problems in the relationship.

鈥淭hink about the relationship dynamics as a whole,鈥� Louise adds.

鈥淗ave you got into the habit of each doing your own thing with little time spent together? Do you make time to relax together, rather than just existing as a team who manage a busy household schedule?鈥�

Finally, she adds: 鈥淭alk to each other honestly about what you need and want from the relationship.

"Try to recreate some of the intimacy that may have become long forgotten.鈥�

To speak to a 香港六合彩精准资料 counsellor or psychotherapist about relationships, visit our Therapist directory.