When you hear the phrase聽鈥榗ontemplative prayer鈥�, what聽words or images immediately聽spring to your mind? When聽I put this question to a couple of online聽communities I belong to, replies flooded in.聽The same words and images were repeated聽over and over again: stillness, silence, calm,聽openness, awareness, solitude, yielding,聽surrender, and many more of a similar聽vein. I resonated with all of them and until聽a few months ago probably would have聽thought that was it; that was what聽contemplative prayer was all about.
To be fair to my online respondents there聽were hints of something other than the聽peaceful and serene imagery, including聽comments like 鈥榟oly discomfort鈥�,聽鈥榗onfronting darkness鈥� and 鈥榓we is not聽very far from terror鈥�. But there were only聽two words that were linked to the body,聽and they were 鈥榖reath鈥� and 鈥榙ance鈥�.
A lot of dance I have witnessed and taken聽part in within the church has been of the聽liturgical kind. Like Lesley Orr, writing in聽Wrestling and Resting, I have to make a聽confession that 鈥榮ometimes, whilst聽participating in earnest and meaningful聽liturgical movement, a wee voice pipes up聽from either my feet or my gut: 鈥淵es, but聽when will the real dancing start?鈥�1聽I have聽always loved to dance. My father taught聽me to ballroom dance as a little girl and the聽popular song Dance with my father again聽can still reduce me to tears. Whilst involved聽in a Charismatic church, I led a children鈥檚聽workshop where mime clowning and聽dance were integral to the way we聽expressed our worship, and in the聽intercessors group, dance was used to pray聽for others or to interpret scripture. But to聽experience dance as a contemplative聽prayer? I had no idea that it was a聽possibility. It would take a call to pilgrimage聽to change that.
Three months ago I walked out of my聽physiotherapist鈥檚 office feeling a little聽stunned. I had gone to see him because of聽recurring neck pain and difficulty opening聽my jaw. After a brief examination he was聽blunt: no horse riding, no mucking out, no聽lifting hay-nets, no sweeping鈥� all this to a聽woman who earns her keep as an equine聽facilitated psychotherapist and spends her聽days on a farm with four horses to care for.聽
It appeared that the spondylitis in my聽spine, connected to an autoimmune聽disease I have had since teenage years,聽had deteriorated. That afternoon I sat on聽a hillside, watching the girl who works聽for me ride my horses in the sunshine.聽Across the valley, the ruins of Buildwas聽Abbey were just visible through the trees.聽Buildwas, home to Cistercian monks聽centuries ago, had been a source of聽inspiration to me through the long hard聽winter as I struggled to care for my horses聽in difficult conditions. The Cistercian聽emphasis on being close to the land had聽led me deeper into the writings of John聽O鈥橠onohue, who says: 鈥楲andscape is the聽first born of creation. It was here hundreds聽of millions of years before the flowers, the聽animals or the people appeared. It is the聽most ancient presence in the world,聽though it needs a human presence to聽acknowledge it2.鈥�
Now it seemed that the landscape I was聽being called to was my own physicality.聽Historically the body has had a hard time聽in the church. Like many others growing聽up in the Roman Catholic Church in the聽1950s, I was steeped in the doctrine of original sin. Philip Newell, writing about聽the tension between good and evil humans聽find within themselves, describes the聽attitude to the physical body that has聽stalked churches for centuries:
鈥極ur Western Christian tradition often聽has given the impression, and at times聽has explicitly taught, that this tension is聽primarily between the soul and the body.聽The result has been a denigration of the聽human body and a distrust of our聽 deepest聽physical energies. The biblical term 鈥渢he聽flesh鈥� which refers to the sinful tendency in聽us to disregard our inmost self, incorrectly聽has been equated with 鈥渢he body鈥�. The flesh聽and the body in the New Testament are聽different concepts. The consequences of聽the confusion have been disastrous3.鈥�
It is not just the churches that have聽been affected. In my work as an equine聽facilitated psychotherapist, I see clients聽from all backgrounds who are distrusting聽of, or disconnected from their bodies. They聽walk into a round pen and are faced with聽a 600 kilo sentient being, a mammal like聽them, who shares a very similar emotional聽brain. The horse, a prey animal, has聽survived for thousands of years by being聽able to accurately read the emotional states聽of their herd members so as to be able to聽flee at the first sign of danger.
One of the exercises I do with clients聽involves getting them to establish a rapport聽with the horse, and then, but using only聽their body language, intent and energy,聽asking the horse to move around. People聽often find it frustrating, and聽 sometimes聽scary, going into their mind and trying聽to think of ways to make the horse move.聽But again and again we bring them back聽to their breath, asking them to follow the聽impulses of their body and intuition in聽order to find relationship, rather than聽trying to control and dominate. When聽people are able to stay with the process and聽begin to focus on their breath and navigate聽the relationship by feel, rather than by聽thought, a magic seems to happen. The聽horse begins to respond, and before long,聽we see a dance taking shape. At that聽moment the round pen stops being just聽a fenced-off piece of grass in a field and聽becomes a liminal space: a place of聽transformation. At such times I am聽reminded of another circle, one that is聽formed week after week in Iona Abbey聽where there is the 鈥榣aying on of hands鈥櫬燿uring the service of prayers for healing.聽We see joy and tears in the Abbey; people聽talk of deep connection and of feeling held.聽And so it is in the round pen: healing聽happens as people find themselves moving聽as one with the horse, twisting and turning聽with rhythm and grace. Folk who have聽never set foot in a church talk of such聽experiences being 鈥榮acred鈥� or 鈥榮pecial鈥�.
Following the meeting with my聽physiotherapist I committed to a period聽of intense rehabilitation. As well as regular聽hydrotherapy workouts prescribed by the聽clinic, I joined an online dance sadhana at聽Girl on Fire Movement Studio4. This dance聽practice, based on yoga, teaches you to聽鈥榖reathe and wait鈥� before executing any聽movement. Christine Claire Reed, from聽Girl on Fire, describes this daily dance as聽a 鈥榮piritual practice鈥�. She talks about the聽discipline of showing up, even when we聽are tired, in pain or just plain busy. Reed聽says that a human being coming deeply聽into connection with their body is聽intrinsically a sacred act4.
John O鈥橠onohue is even more explicit:聽鈥楾he body is sacred鈥� The body is a聽sacrament. The old traditional definition聽captures this beautifully. A sacrament is聽a visible sign of invisible grace2.鈥�
The human brain is the master of聽storytelling, able to fabricate reasons聽for all manner of behaviours. However, as聽O鈥橠onohue goes on to say: 鈥楾he body is鈥β爒ery truthful. You know that your body聽rarely lies. Your mind can deceive you and聽put all kinds of barriers between you and聽your true nature; but your body does not聽lie. Your body tells you, if you attend to it,聽how your life is and whether you are living聽from your soul or from the labyrinths of聽your negativity5.鈥�
This has been my experience with people聽as they allow themselves to be fully in their聽body, and connect both with the struggles聽in their life and also with the image of God聽that may have been covered up or masked聽and long forgotten. In my own journey of聽recent months, alongside the 260 others聽in the online community I am part of,聽dedicated to a daily dance practice, the聽result has been a deepening of my聽awareness of God鈥檚 presence in my life, a聽releasing of stuck patterns of thinking and聽a vast improvement in my physical health.
As George MacLeod, the founder of the聽Iona Community, states: 鈥榃e have been聽given union with God, whether we like it or聽not, know it or not, want it or not. Our flesh聽is His flesh and we can鈥檛 jump out of our聽skins鈥� It is a free spontaneous gift of the聽living God. And it happened for everyone7.鈥櫬�
Polly Burns is an integrative聽psychotherapist, working in Shropshire.聽She incorporates equine facilitated聽psychotherapy and environmental聽arts therapy into her clinical practice聽and into the retreats and workshops聽she runs. Polly is also a member of the聽Iona Community and holds the role聽of Prayer Circle Co-ordinator.
References
1. Harvey R. Wrestling and resting: exploring聽stories of spirituality from Britain and Ireland.聽London: CCBI Publications; 2000.
2. O鈥橠onohue J. Anam sara: spiritual wisdom from聽the Celtic world. London: Bantam Books; 1999.
3. Newell JP. Echo of the soul, Norwich: Canterbury聽Press; 2000.
4. www.girlonfiredance.com
5. Ferguson R (ed). Daily readings with George聽MacLeod. Glasgow: Wild Goose Publications;聽1991.